Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum
arrive at the Pearly gates, St Peter explains that only one can get
through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.
Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made
some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most
beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven,
and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far
happier place to be"
"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"
Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world.
I will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the
archangels to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well
know Pete if you look good you will feel good and that will make
heaven a much happier place"
"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"
The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her
skirt and pulls down her knickers, inserts a fullbottle of Evian
water into her fanny, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush
out all over the floor.
"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter
"Hold on a fucking minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything"
"Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a
pair of Queens..."